So It Begins....

Lucky you, dear reader...you have now officially been invited on my own personal journey to find/create myself. I have begun a long process of trying to figure out who I am. Writing has always been important to me, and I THINK I might want to include it as part of my every day life and part of who I am...but I'm not sure. I'm not really sure of anything. So therefore, this blog is born. I have made a promise to myself and my best friend (who is doing this alongside me with his own blog, but maybe not so strictly) to start trying to write every day. I would image that this is going to fail miserably. I have a tendency to think that everything in my life right now is a failure. I'm not one of those people who is trying to find themselves optimistically. I am not happy with who or what I am right now, so please do not expect this to be a happy go lucky rambling. This is simply a tool to aid me to find out if writing is really something that I could pursue.
Just as with this blog, most of my writing is going to be about, well a whole lot of nothing. Sometimes I just need to get things down on paper. Or on a screen in this case. I have also decided to start my dream journal once again. I have some weird dreams. I mean really weird. I wrote them all down for probably three months. It was one of the most interesting things I have ever done. Then I stopped. For no reason. I think I will start again.
I have made plan after plan for my life, and recently, I dropped all plans. I can't plan. I can plan for short term, in fact, I love to. Give me something I can make a list for, and I will go nuts. Weird, right? I love listing! It's almost a passion. However, if you ask me to write a list poem, I can't do it. Go figure. Eh, I'm working on it.
Back to my point. I recently decided that I can not live by a plan. It makes me very nervous. The very thought of living my life based on anything more than a few years long freaks me out. I had planned to be a teacher...but there are so many restrictions. I cared for awhile what people thought of me quitting that profession because of that reason. I am trying not to care now...I still do a little. So I decided to fix that! I would become a professor...less restrictions on certain things right? Yeahhhh....I just can't imagine myself doing that for the next thirty years. I can't picture myself doing ANYTHING for 30 years. I don't want to be held back by a career.
So this writing will be my journey. Ideally I would like this blog to be a mixture of long posts, meaningful insights, pointless rambles, short one sentence fulfillments, poems, stories, ideas...I want it to be a creation of me.
So wish me luck, take a journey with me, and off we go...