I can't believe that as of four months ago, tomorrow was supposed to be my wedding day. It blows my mind how fast it came. Now I don't know when Randy and I are getting married. I was really upset when we first decided to postpone it, but you know what? Now I am okay. I realize that both of us had a lot of things that we needed to get settled and worked out before we tied the knot. Not that it would have been any different after we were married, but I think that with the stress of planning and carrying out a wedding right now, we couldn't have handled taking care of everything. Not to mention the fact that of course we are still trying to save up to fix his car now. Oye.
So finally my mind seems to be working in a writer's state. I have always sat back and wondered how authors came up with their ideas. I still wonder. Every day in fact. But I have two or three story ideas floating around in my head, which is quite unusual for me. Now my problem is getting the motivation to write them.
Everyone always tells me to write for myself. Francis and I had this conversation a few days ago. Of course I want to write for myself. But I want to write for others too. I don't want to write something that other people never read or enjoy. What is my motivation for that? Why even waste my time? I don't want to just write something for mommy and daddy to say is good either. I want to make a difference. I want to leave my mark on the writing world. The problem is, I don't think I am good enough. And I don't know how to push my writing to the public.
I mean, I know the process. We "learned" that in college, and I have a few people I could approach who have been published for tips, but really? I don't know the first thing about writing for an audience. I just want people to want to read what I have to say.
I am going to pick up a flash drive probably today and just use it solely for my writing. I should have done it a long time ago, but now is the first time I am really serious about this. I have always wanted to be a writer, though. This is the only part of my future that I have wanted that has never altered. Even in my times of great confusion about what I want to do with my life, writing never took a back burner. But my confidence has. And I have yet to get it back.
We will see once I actually start to push myself to get going. First step, that flashdrive. Next step: WRITE!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Regarding the wedding- good/bad to hear the news. Couldn't really get your perspective out of it from reading...don't know if you were rationalizing, or not. But the right outcome will come in time. Waiting/postponing something temporarily is very rarely a bad thing in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI didn't want to write that because I haven't really spoken to you or hung out with you in a long time, Brandi (and therefore really have no intelligent thought on the subject). But what you wrote about writing...I just don't know. You mentioned Francis, and as best as I could tell he was pushing you toward the "write for yourself" theory.
And I agree with him 100%. It's theraputic, first and foremost. Everyone wants what they right to sink into the soul of others, but it simply doesn't always happen, right? That's probably why diaries were created.
Write your ass off. And if that's something you were meant to do, it'll show over time in the feedback you get. But in the interim, it does nothing but help you as an individual, I would think.
I think you're great, but we're not the closest of friends by any stretch of the imagination. You write stuff- a lot of it I agree with whole heartedly, a lot of it I couldn't disagree with more. But I read it, because you're quite a bit different than most of the generally mundane people I've met in my life. I mean that as a compliment, and I appreciate it.
Keep writing, no matter what people say (or don't say) about it, as long as it's what you enjoy doing. And for the record- I found out about your blog a month or so ago, and while I've only checked it twice, on both occasions I took the time to read everything you wrote.
Take care. Keep writing. Tell Randy I said hello :)